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We give no quarter with these criminal music puns

tuba-puns

Not that my household needs much of an excuse to start a punning war. But this story that happened across Facebook recently was too, too much to resist.

Music Teacher Caught Selling Tubas for Drug Money

YES.

As I announced: “Music teacher hits a new low: Steals tuba to sell for heroin. May the punning commence.”

So, saved for posterity and your amusement, our Facebook exchange:

  • Jon Swerens Also accused of trying to score some blow. #2punsin1
  • Joe Carlin Her bass instincts sunk her to a new low. Call in the brass & march her off to jail.
  • Mary E. Swerens String ‘em up!
  • Jon Swerens Boy, is she in treble with the law.
  • Mary E. Swerens She needed to drum up some money…
  • Jon Swerens … but the cops snared her.
  • Mary E. Swerens #rimshot
  • Sarita R. Swerens Tubad I don’t know much about music, I’d be making some puns.
  • Jon Swerens It’s a felony to be caught with a band substance.
  • Jon Swerens By pleading, she staved off a harsh sentence.
  • Mary E. Swerens Who orchestrated this plan, anyway??
  • Jon Swerens That would be the key to the case.
  • Jon Swerens Hate to think they’d be trumped-up charges.
  • Jon Swerens At least she got her one sousaphone call.
  • Sarita R. Swerens That one was clef-er. But we can stop harping on about it now?
  • Jon Swerens She’s got a high-powered lawyer from D.C.: Al Coda.
  • Jon Swerens That’s how I woodwinda case.
  • Jon Swerens That’s what you get when you piccolo-life boyfriend.
  • Mary E. Swerens We’re just oboeing our way through this all by ourselves. Where is everyone??
  • Jon Swerens Hope they reed her her rights.
  • Sarita R. Swerens Maybe you should just give it a rest…
  • Mary E. Swerens “…anything you say can and will be used against you in a coda law…”
  • Hope Banks Do you all realize how wonderful you are? I so enjoyed reading these comments. I would try and make a pun but puns are not my forte.
  • Jon Swerens She tried to act natural, but not being too sharp, the police caught her flat-footed, although it was accidental.
  • Sarita R. Swerens I was trying to compose a pun with ‘sharp’, but you stole it. I feel minorly disappointed.
  • Jon Swerens It’s a major bummer, I know.
  • Sarita R. Swerens Your tone denotes sarcasm.
  • Jon Swerens Of course, she’ll get a suspended sentence.
  • Jon Swerens And on that note, with a measure of satisfaction and some concerted effort, we’ll put her behind bars, the perfect finale, a fitting cymbal of justice.

The comments policy

Adapted from another blog of mine, The Good City.

A  commenter wrote me a private email, saying that if I don’t allow comments from anonymous complainers, that I’m a big sissy chicken girl. (I may be paraphrasing.)

That reminds me that I’ve been considering publishing an actual policy on comments here instead of keeping it only inside my head. So here we go:

This blog is like my front porch. You are invited to walk up and say all manner of outrageous things, after we shake hands and have a proper introduction.

In the blog world, that means comments are moderated. But if you talk like a reasonable human being, I’ll most likely allow it. Please use your real name, the name you’d use if we shook hands at a downtown bar.

If you want to have a conversation, even if you deeply disagree with me, then please pull up a chair and tell me what’s on your mind. But if you want to drive by while blowing your horn and mooning me out your window, please understand if I’m not as receptive of your argument. And don’t be shocked if I sic my dog on you.

I reserve the right to modify this policy at any annoying time I want.

And I also reserve the right to delete comments that I don’t like for any other reason that I haven’t thought of before. Why? Because it’s my blog. If you don’t like it, get your own. They’re free, you know.

I’ll also delete links to Web sites that I consider NSFW, or mark them as such when possible.

Potpourri: TBN in legal hot water / You married the wrong person / Stop wasting time / An Easter song

Here’s a new little experiment: A potpourri post. These are a few interesting links that came my way today:

“Christian” TV channel faces lawsuit: Lawsuit brought by family members claims Trinity Broadcasting Network founder and his wife bought their jets with sham loan

“We always marry the wrong person.” “(God) didn’t design marriage for self-fulfillment, but to train you, slowly and painfully, to ‘love and care for the stranger to whom you find yourself married'”

Get more things done today: All you need to do is eliminate four bad time management habits and stop wasting time today.

Song of resurrection and ascension: The song “See The Conqueror” may be 150 years old, but this version is brand new by Jenny & Tyler.